Never underestimate the power of prayer.
What is a prayer? Well to different people it is different things. I cannot speak for others but I can speak for myself and this is what it has dome for me.
Back in February I lost my job. I was a Network Consultant. I had nothing to turn to. No religion, no family (except for my wife and kids) and few friends scene I spent all my time on computers and no time with humans. To me the white box that I now type this into was a God in its own right. Everything revolved around the great silicon chip. Boy, was I wrong.
I was looking for something to read in the big bookcase I humbly call my library. As I scanned the books there was Elric, Belgarion, and every evil H. P. Lovecraft could think of. Hidden between two books was one I thought I had traded in years ago Scott Cunningham's "A Guide To The Solitary Practitioner". I had thought to myself that Spell Craft could be a way to get money and seek revenge to the former employer that I felt had wronged me. All the right knowledge for all the wrong reasons. Great Nations had been built on less. However, they never lasted. I threw myself into learning everything that I could about this mysterious force that the majority of mankind ignored and believed never existed. Do you think I am a fool yet? Just hang on and I will change your mind.
I bought every book I could afford on the subject. In all the reading I did there was one common fact that even I could not ignore. All Spell Craft is based on faith. What the hell is this? Faith in a higher power? I acquired old
history books on witchcraft and read those. Even there I found that there was a
religion that was practiced by the "old" witches. Could this be some screwed up ignorance depending on a God and a Goddess to hold their hands so they felt better even though there was no gods there just empty praise? Still think I am a fool? That is ok. Looking back on it now I have to agree, I was.
I don't know when it took hold and grabbed me by the butt. Maybe it was instantly, maybe it took a few weeks. I can't remember things are still foggy from that time in my life. Well, things before I accepted what I was reading were and are still foggy. The first time I remember sensing "them" was when I was desperate for money and I broke down and prayed. Yes I prayed. Not to silicon and wires but to Gaia and Sol. Mother Earth and Father Sky. The feeling was nothing I had ever felt before. It was like being cold without being cold. My whole body was on fire with an electricity. No pain just pure ecstasy. Never in my life had I felt anything like this. Sure I had prayed to God as a child but never had I felt anything like this. I knew I was not alone in that room. For the first time I was where I needed to be at the time I needed to be there. It felt as though a hand had touched my cheek and I realized that I was in the presence of those who I had asked to come forth and listen to my pleas. I felt no need to grovel, beg, or even make a deal with those who were there with me. I didn't even feel the need to bow my head in respect. The only thing I felt the need to do was to be "there". I don't even think the words made it out of my mouth. They knew what I needed. Still think I am a fool?
The next day the phone rang. It was my former employer. Yes I still felt hate for him but not as bad as before. He needed help with a job and was willing to pay me a good amount of money for my services. My reality had been unraveled and rebuilt literally overnight. Many times over the passing months I prayed for a job. Every time I would get down to my last few dollars my former employer would call with work for me. Each time hatred ebbing into anger then to annoyance then into understanding. However there was still no permanent job. I knew "they" were there. I know "they" knew what I needed. I even got to where I could talk to "them" to tell them what I needed. Still nothing.
A few weeks before September I got a call from a company to upgrade all of Sprint's (yes Sprint the long distance company) computers to Windows 2000 in the Indiana, Michigan and Ohio area. For a person that works with computers this was the job of a lifetime. Then September 11, 2001 came along. Sprint pulled out of the deal. BAM! I was screwed again. Sure my previous employer had work to get me by but that was all I was doing. Getting by. Time passed and I thought that I was the butt of some cosmic joke. It is amazing how the universe can seem like it has turned its back on you only to show you it had been there all along.
I was literally at the and of my rope and there was no money left. It was Thanks Giving weekend. I went to my e-mail and saw that there was a letter from someone wanting my resume. I thought "sure, like everyone else there would be no reply" but I sent it to them. Later that night it was so light you couldn't even call it a whisper. More like a breeze that you can just make out what it means. Just barely. I knew that on Monday I had to go to this place in person. It was "Her" telling me what would be best for me. I had spent months with her by my side and never knew it. Kind of like that poem. I looked back at the sand and all there was were female footprints where "She" had been carrying me.
On Monday I got dressed up and went to that company and brought my resume with me. The owner was on vacation but his right hand man was there. He gave me an interview that lasted an hour and a half. At the end he gave me a card and told me that the owner would be back on Thursday and if I hadn't heard from them by then I should call. Thursday came along and there was no call. As morning threatened to turn into afternoon I picked up the phone and made the call. The owner told me that if I had just waited five more minutes he would have called me. He gave me a second interview and fifteen minutes into it I was hired at a reasonable salary. As they showed me around I was amazed at the fact that the job was everything I had ever wanted in a job. Everything! I had found that I was not looking for the job of my dreams but it was looking for me. "She" had just helped it find its way. In "Her" own time.
Many of us use Spell Craft but do we really pray to "Them"? Sit down and talk to "Them"? I know I do and always will. Remember that just because you are not getting what you are praying for does not mean that it is not looking for you. "They" just might be changing you from a fool into something else. Something better...........
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