I haven't been blogging. I haven't been do its stuff ritual or magick. I haven't been learning my new runes. I personal been studying....I am reading Christopher Penczak's Temple series, authentic on book one. He promised it would not be Wicca 101...he superior get a move on.Further, I personal been verdict excuses. Too slow, too immediate, too..........you associates in the empty-headed.So tonight I bursting the have a wash with aroma good stuff and epsom salts and HOT water. Took some ritual stuff inwards the bathroom. Idol candle, sage candle, 4 candles for spirit guides, incense and Wendy Saying. Soaked and scrubbed and let everything authentic breath improbable. I didn't ask for what or talk to anyone. I authentic let the gentle water and the scents and the light of the candles and the music with time adjust all the tensions of the days and weeks taking into account.And I got it.I personal been avoiding ritual like I personal been impression not fit for. Express, swift, not very limp, methodically impression shabby (just about...I work with keep), authentic not up to ritual.How impossibly CHRISTIAN of me. Not good enough to talk to my patriarchal, merciless, all-mankind-is-born-sinful, wrathful GOD.To the same degree a rouse up think that was. Nothing shocks a witch when realizing that I am show business and point when a Christian.Idol isn't about limp me, or judging me. She could care less if I go for her or curse her. She doesn't coerce me....I coerce her. I coerce the do that this spirit authentic IS.That it is about learning, not feat a endorsement fee. Idol and all the goddesses that we talk to, my spirit guides...all of them are going on for to help me learn my lessons. They can't do that if I don't talk to them and chill out to them. But it's all the awfully to them...I am the one who is the Seeker, they earlier know the answers.So why am I avoiding them?.......like to the same extent I am slow and shabby that old from way back conditioning starts overpowering my responses. The years of time told how not fit for, how injury, how unlovable we are and that we coerce to kiss the feet of this god who seems to loathe us...all that effects is motionless well-behaved of causing inconvenience. Til I drag it out inwards the light of day and resist a distressing watch.Oh, and I got one greater take in. It would seem that 4 candle stand up that I use for my spirit guides is suitably satisfying. But the four like candles is feat old, persons 4 spirits are not slightly not the awfully, they don't even when each other significantly.....at lowest that's what I got.Barely a candle, talk to goddess or spirit. If you don't personal what to say, with authentic chill out.